Just like every year for the past 171
years without fail, We Pirates took
our revenge against the Lawyers,
Yuppies and Comparative Lit Majors
of this fair city of Port-Land.








Pirates are fueled by RUM! We managed ta get our grubby mitts on a cask or two o' Calico Jack Rum this year (it, er, fell off the back of a smaller, less well-armed ship ... in a totally legitimate manner, ye see ...)




The fine wares from Cindie's help us Pirates pass the long nights at sea. And on land. Sometimes in sort of a swampy place. Oh, and this one time in a cave! It was grand...




They say "any port in a storm," but some ports have a lot more slips, if'n ye know what I mean... I'm sayin' ye can get yer timbers shivered. It be a place full o' booty. X marks the G-spot. Blow everyone down. There be activity below decks.
Sex. I'm talking about sex. It happens here.




Follow those traitorous Twitter twats at @DrunkenRampage
for updates if ye are not already on our mailin' list.